2/19/2012 Hands Off!

Happy day!

Some times I think the hardest thing to do is to offer to help someone else. 

If you want to help someone cook, you hate to do something wrong or ask where everything is so you can cook.  You worry that the person may not like your new dish. 

When you buy a present, you worry that the person may not like it or may already be getting the same thing from someone else.

This weekend, I am helping my sweetie move.  While I am happy to help and do everything I can, I feel like I am not helping in many ways too.  Right now, we are sitting doing nothing.  While I am awake and ready to go, he has worked all night and is tired and needs some time to rest.  Since he currently lives in another city, that leaves me to sit around too.  I can;t say I feel useless.  But I feel like some of my best time to work is being wasted and I am afraid to do anything without him telling me.  It is his stuff, after all.

Its that old adage, hurry up and wait.  I am here and now I wait.

Oh.  And there is no coffee so you better enjoy your cup for me.

2/18/2012 Bank Fees

I am sure you are wondering, where I went.  Truth is, I haven't gone anywhere.  I have been still stuck at home with very little to do.  But mostly, I have been so scatter brained, there is nothing that has been bothering me or even staying in my brain long enough to be a bother.  But this morning I got such a happy suprise, it got my brain going.

So....

When I wake up, I always check my emails.  See what is going on in my small little world.  I got an email from my bank.  I hate those.  When I see those I know I did something wrong and they are going to stick it to me big time.  When I opened the email, and then opened my eyes,

Very.......

Slowly.....

Wow!  It was only a bank statement!  I finally made it through 1 month without any fees!!!!!  Now, before you bash me, I never used to have any problems.  But when you go from bringing in enough money to enjoy life, to making only 30% of it.....  Well expect some adjustments and some fees. But back to my rant.

Bank Fees

I swear there is a fee for everything.  A fee to remove your money in an ATM.  A fee to return a check, OD fees, and a fee from the company that got the check back.  Yes, they are all fees for me not budgeting or watching my funds correctly.  But look at it this way:

Check comes in making your account balance -$5
Bank Charges $35 but sends the check back.
Store charges $40 to resubmit the check.
Bank's fee makes account in the negative so they charge $5 for every day you don't bring your account into the positive.
Then the company resubmits it again causing the same circle of events.
So, a bounced check, costs you hundreds of dollars.  That takes food off the table, gas out of the car, and no fun for the family for the month.

What really should be done?  Well, I should watch my account better, make more money.  Wait.  No job for that.  Well, you get the idea.  It really isn't the bank's fault for me being negative.  But, I wish they would understand more.  I wish I was not a number to them. 

But back to my positive note.  I HAD NO FEES THIS MONTH!!!  Happy dance time!!

Maybe today is not a rant.  It is a joy! 

Time to have that special cup.

2/11/2012 True Love

With Valentine's coming up, I have been doing a lot of thinking about love.  I guess I am trying to make sense out of everything.  Out of life. 

First I should tell you I have been in love many times, as I am sure most of you have.  I married my high school sweetheart and was always faithful until he went to heaven at a very early age.  So, I got to enter the dating scene once again.

I found a man I was deeply in love with.  He asked me to marry him after we had lived together for over 2 years.  I said yes.  Then 2 months later, he told me he was taking a break and never came back.  So was that really true love?

I can tell you that if we did get married, I would have stayed faithful and divorce would have never entered my mind.  I would have done everything I could to make it all work out.  I know this about myself.  When I give, I give my entire being. 

So this brings me to my thought of the day.  Is there such a thing as true love?  And if there is, with all the divorces now, does that mean that people are not knowing what true love is?

Here is my philosophy.  In history, divorce was just not something that was widely accepted.  People just didn't do it.  They stayed together through everything.  As time went on, more and more people started accepting it for any reason they felt that the marriage was not going well.  So, I have come to the conclusion that many people do not know what true love is.  But, this has been the problem all along.  It is just been a belief.  If you walk down that isle and believe the words you say, then you would stay together through everything.  If you believe that when things fall apart, you should find someone better......  Well, I think that is why there is so many divorces.

Oh, and to finish my life's story up to now, I did find a man who I believe is my true love.  And I wasn't even looking for anyone.  I guess that is just how God works.

But if you are struggling at marriage or a relationship, just remember things are not supposed to be easy.  That does not mean you should stay together, but just think about if you are trying to take the easy way out by looking again.

It's too late for my cup tonight, but hopefully you get yours.

2/10/2012 Migraines

The definition of a migraine is:

A recurrent throbbing headache that typically affects one side of the head and is often accompanied by nausea and disturbed vision.

Yet, if you are like me and suffer from them, there is much more to it.  Some have auras or spinning shapes across their vision, sensitivity of light and noise, but basically it is a bed sentence.  You are literally forced into your bed and wait for the pain to go away.  This is not a headache.  I can't just take two aspirin and make it through.  I literally need silence and a very dark room.  The time frame that this lasts can vary but even after it is done, it takes a few days for you to be able to go through a normal day without exhaustion and if you get any stress, the migraine might come back.

So, what am I ranting about now?

I get tired of trying to explain this phenomenon to the normal society.  When you miss work or school for this, people think you are faking or asking for a day off.  You get chastised.  Put down.  Looked at as a bad employee or student.  Like you don't care.  I would trade anything to get rid of these things permanently.

Did you know...

• In the U.S., more than 28 million people suffer from migraines, according to a 2001 report from the National Institutes of Health's National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.
• Migraine can be considered a disability.

I am a lucky one of sorts.  I don't suffer as often.  I was so upset when I figured our that I suffer about once a month.  But there are people who suffer once every week.  But then, as an employer or school official, would you believe the person who suffers weekly, or monthly?

If you wonder if your "headache" is a migraine, take this quiz.

But PLEASE, if you hear of someone suffering from a migraine, don't think of it as a simple headache.

Oh, and if you want to learn more, check out the site that has the migraine quiz above.  You just might learn something.

Enjoy your cup this morning.  Ponder.  Dream. But always be happy with what you have.  Because tomorrow, it might be gone.



2/7/2012 Dreams

First and foremost, Happy Birthday to my son!  He is now 11 years old.

Now for the thought of the day...

As I was sitting here getting ready for my day, I heard my son say:

"When I teach Chemistry, it is going to be so AWESOME!"

My kids were talking about what they want to be when they grow up.  Do you remember those types of talks?  Can you remember some of the things you wanted to be?  I remember wanting to be a firefighter when I was in kindergarten.  As I got older, I changed to teacher.  Then I wanted to be a veterinarian.  I love animals.  In fact, I kept that dream until I went to check out colleges.  I decided I could never put an animal to sleep.  So my mom gave me another choice.  I could go on from here but I think you get the point.  My dream kept changing.  Sometimes it would change many times a day.  Even now I am back in school because I want to do something else.

So Krystine, get to the point?!?! 

My point is this:  We need to continue to dream.  To hope.  To change our minds about our future.  In all the problems I have faced, it never occurred to me to give up and just do nothing.  Yet, I see people all around me do what their parents said they should be doing in life, or maybe it was their husband.  But there is no sparkle in their eye, no interest.  Even worse, they just see themselves as being in the same job, the same place, for the rest of their lives.

Think about that today.  What are your dreams?  And if you don't have any, come up with some.  You can even make yourself a bucket list if you are into having it written down.  But make sure you are looking at the future as something positive. Give yourself something to get up in the morning.

I should say, give yourself something to get up for other than that all important cup. :)

2/4/2012 Squeak-a

I don't know how many of you have animals gracing your house.  Every one I have ever had seems to give me joy but it is each of their personalities that always has me smiling and wondering how each could be so different.

Currently, I have 2 dogs.  These two dogs are roughly the same age (less than a year apart).One is a Bischon and the other is a Cockapoo.  They are both girls but one is black and one is white.  A perfect opposite of each other.

Dutchess, the Bischon, is what I would consider a grump of a dog.  She sleeps all the time.  Cuddles in the worst places, and will growl at you if you try to move her.  Although she is the oldest, she is the smallest, but their sizes are quite similar.  She is a licker of every part of your body she can reach.  But mainly, she is my lap dog and my 3 AM alarm clock reminding me that someone has come home in the complex.

Jocee, the Cockapoo is best described as a toddler.  Yes she is a cuddler and a major licker, like her sister, she is also clumsy and tends to wake up way to early in the morning for my tastes.  (Which is saying something since I am usually up at 5AM)  But it is her vibrancy of life that has me smiling right now.  She finds everything interesting.  She chews every pencil and pen in the house she can find and will eat every kind of food she can get her nose on.  And don't you dare leave her at home or there will be a mess to clean up when you get back.

But it is the little tennis balls that I just love to see her with.  She will pick them up, throw them over her head, and then fetch them.  She will bring them to you and drop them at your feet just waiting for you to throw them for her to go find.  But it is the new balls she loves the most.  She will squeak that ball until she pops it, which never takes long.  "Squeak-a, squeak-a!"  It leaves me smiling for more.  I just wish she would love the larger balls that she couldn't pop.  This is getting to be an expensive joy in both our lives.  Sounds like she lost the ball under the couch again.  I better go help her.

Squeak-a!

Have that perfect cup for me.

1/29/2012 Eating Healthy

Normally, I don't try to endorse any websites or any other propaganda.  But I do have to mention a cool find I ran across.  It is e-mealz.com.

I have had a difficult time getting my kids to eat healthy.  Their first few years was the Granna giving in to what ever food they craved.  While this was great for someone like me who was stressed at being a single mom after my husband died, it caused the kids to not want to try anything.  So recently, I have been telling them that they need to try what I am making and the answer from them is always YUCK!  Their philosophy is that those meals are mom meals and she may like them but kids do not.

So, when I found this website, I fell in love.  This is a way for all of us to try new things and everything is healthier than what we have been eating.  They have lost the reason to say they are mom meals because mom hasn't eaten them before either.  Also, the price is right.  I have also compared them to the Walmart prices in my area and they are very accurate so I know how much I will be spending before I get there.  Imagine also the kids can't throw in other items they may want at some point.

Now, the only limitation is this is only for one meal a day.  However, if you are like us, you usually are gone one meal a day anyway and breakfast is always a fast item of some sort.

Now, I did set a few rules for this trial:

1. Kids pick meals from the recipes on this site.
2. If they eat everything, they get dessert.
3. If 3 out of 4 family members like the meal, it goes on our try it again pile.
4. If 2 like it, it will be debated by the parents if we will try it again. (Since as before kids usually say YUCK)

Hopefully, this will give us enough meals so that I can try the pinterest menu board I want to create. :)

Time for that all important cup of the day.

1/27/2012 Free Food

Every one wants free food.  Whether it is the buy one get one free deals, free hot dogs at a store sale, or the contests everyone hopes to win.  In all these cases, it makes us feel good, feel important.  We want people to look at us as important.

Some people get even better "free" things.  Yes, there is the lottery, but what I am talking about is some of the gifts stars get.  In a CNN article, in 2006, each gift the stars who attended the Oscars received were $500 each for a grand total of $10,000.  What would you do with this money if you had it?  And how many years do these stars get to go to the Oscars???  Wow.

Currently, many people are after a different kind of free things.  Food.  Around my neck of the woods, there are many ways to get free food.  Food drives twice a week and bigger ones that are held once a month.  Yes there are some people who are not poor that are getting these items, but for the most part, it is the ones who need it.

My friend went yesterday to one of these food drives.  She was not given any milk or meat, but instead could take many sweets.  Now, I can get into the issues with that kind of food, but what I want to talk about is the food itself.  Every item she was given was past the expiration date.  Now what I don't get is these are the same people who don't have insurance due to cost or situation.  Also most of the poor people are kids.  So these good people who really are wonderful to give out free food, are going to make our poor kids and families sick with old food.

How do we solve this issue?  I wish I knew.  I don't like knowing people are starving, but giving out bad food is not helping either.

Oh, and on a side note, my friend heard people complain that were in line that if they didn't have the "good" cereal, they were going to sue.  So yes, as I said before there are some who take advantage of our system.  But the short of it is we need to fix this country.  Make it better.  Be like one man, walk up to someone and give them a gallon of milk for no reason.

And as always, have a cup for me.

1/24/2012 Poor

Before I begin my rant, I have to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful daughter!!!  I can't believe how fast they grow up.

Now on to my rant of the day....

Have you ever thought of the poor people?  There are those who you can easily tell are poor.  They are the ones standing on the street corner or going to the free meals.  But are they the ones that are actually poor? 

My fiance told me of one he knew of who could be found on the street corner every day.  The same street corner week after week.  Yet, when she died, he found out she was a multi-millionaire.  How many people fell for that act?

I also heard in the news about a family who qualified for aid yet lived in a mansion and had brand new cars.  Granted the government is suing them to pay back what they were given, but how many more are out there?

On the flip side...

I can tell you I am poor.  I'm not ashamed to admit that because I have done what I could.  I try not to ask for handouts and I hide it every chance I get.  If you were to see me now, you would see me sipping coffee and wearing, not new clothes, but ones that look nice.  Yet, every month I worry about having enough money for milk, for gas, and how will my kids grow up?  And don't even get me started when I get a note home from the school saying they need $5 for X. For most people, $5 is not much to think about.  Just look at the coffee shops and how many shell of $5 for every cup.  But for me, I wonder how I will make this fit in my already tight budget.

As I said before, today is my daughter's birthday.  But in order for that to work, I had to go to the infamous Walmart and write a check that I know will bounce so I can buy her a $10 gift for her birthday.  I had to think long and hard about it.  I hate doing it, but how would a young girl (Who is now 8) feel to wake up to a house without any gifts?

I heard on Fox News that 50% of the nation is below the poverty line.  Wow.  We either need to do something about that poverty line or about our government (Which I will not even get started on).  But I want you to keep this number in mind.  50%  That is 1 in every 2 people.  Look at those around you.  Half the people are worried about some of the same things as me.  Yet, they don't look like they are poor.

Do something nice for those around you.  Even if it is just a kind word.

And remember to have a cup for me.

1/22/2012 Sharing

While there are many times when I get upset with my kids or I think they like to try my patience, kids really know how to share and work together.  I can hear my two talking through every situation and coming up with a plan.  If one disagrees, they simply say, "No, I will do...."  Then the other one accepts that knowing it is best just to agree.

Can you imagine if corporate life worked that way?  Everyone would have a say and would disagree openly.  There would be discussions, but everyone would pitch in to make it work.  I wonder what we could accomplish with that philosophy?

With he presidential election coming soon, I think it is more needed.  Even with the creation of jobs, we ALL need to sit down and discuss, plan and implement ways to solve all our issues.  Stop raising the debt limit.  Stop threatening that everything is going to shut down.  Stop comparing our first time unemployment records.

  FIX THE ISSUE TOGETHER!!! 

What a concept, I know!

On the flip side, it is safe to say everyone never forgets how to pick on other people and put them down.    Unfortunately, we get better at hiding this as we get older and blaming others for our problems.  Stop.  Think.  Watch the kids.  They might pick on each other but they do it in a face to face manner.  Then, they get over it.  (With a little punishment thrown in by mom and dad, of course!)

Time for that all important cup of the day....

1/21/2012 Friends??

Rant of the day.....

Men.  Now, before you get the wrong impression, I really think most men are great.  While I know men think differently than women, they are not as bad as most women try to make them out to be.

However, what I need to get off my chest is men and friends.I have met a lot of wonderful guys over the past two years.  I enjoyed talking with them and being friends.  Yet, one by one, they decide to stop being friends and ask me out.  I politely tell them no and that I just want to be friends and yet....  And every one of them knows I am already engaged.

Let's just say I wish I could have my friends back.  I miss being able to talk honestly and openly with them, without judgement, without ridicule.

Remember to have a cup for me.

1/20/2012 When is a Child sick???

Today's rant......

Schools set their requirements for when a child is sick.  Fever must be 101 or higher.  They will also be sent home with a rash.  If a doctor says the child has X, then there is a chart to look at to determine when the child can come back.  But where is the common sense?  The medical backing?

When a child gets sick, they have been contagious for about 3 days before.  Those germs have already been spread around.  Also, if the child has a cold, and has to go out in very cold weather or are sitting down for so long that it goes into their chest much easier.

So, as a parent, you are required to follow what the school sets as rules.  I get that.  But when/where does the affect of school on my child affect when they should be in school?

What ever your belief, remember the other issue with all this:  your job and the school also set the number of days you can miss before you may be in worse trouble.

Have a cup for me and if you come up with an answer, let me know....

1/19/2012 Daily News

Well today started off taking my man in for surgery.  He came out ok with very little pain.  Now I just have to be nice to him for a while. :) 

However, my son woke up with that barking cough.  Now I know many people would not worry so much about that, but can you imagine how scary it is for me when my first husband died from pneumonia???  I worry so much about my kids and their breathing.  If I send my son to school, then I run the risk that the teachers wont hear his breathing and get him help in time.  So, he spent the day at home.  I'm not sure I can ever get past that loss or worry.

Took my daughter in to get her eyes checked out too.  Great news!  She no longer needs to wear her glasses unless it is to read or on the computer.  She is soooo happy now.  It's funny, last year she couldn't wait to get glasses. Now she is so happy to get rid of them.  I think they lost their excitement over the year.  I am jut happy she can get rid of them for a while.

So how do I sum up the day?  Well, it was up and down but really it didn't bother me.  Life is not worth the worries at time.  Kiss your kids and your sweetie.  And don't forget to tell your friends how much they mean.

Nite.

1/18/2012 Too Cold!!!

I know winter is here, but do we need the negative temps and high winds???  The kids are spending their third day inside because of negative temps.  My house can't take much more of this!  Everything is getting destroyed!

I caught my daughter in not one, not two, but SIX lies yesterday.  What do you do with an almost 8 year old who is afraid to get in trouble?  The sad part is four of the lies I found out from her teacher.  Sigh.  I had her write an apology note to her teacher and explain what she should have said.  I hope this stops this.  She really s a great girl.

But on for the good news!!!

I get to pick up my sweetie and bring him back here!!!  Finally we will be a complete family for a few days.

Stay warm today.  And drink a cup for me.

1/17/2012 Thoughts of the day...

Wow.  I got woken up to SNOW PLOWS!!!!  And I thought there would never be snow here.  I think the news said we finally got one inch.  As my kids keep pointing out, then we have 23 inches left to go!!!!  I keep telling my daughter it will all fall on her birthday which is at the end of the month.  Of course, I have a big party planned for her big day so we will see what fate has in store for that!

As the snow plows pass, I was thinking of what life has in store for me.  Only a few more months then I will be married - AGAIN.  I am so excited to get married, but I always planned to marry my high school sweetheart, have kids, and be able to celebrate our 50th anniversary together in the nursing home.  I started that dream, but didn't expect my husband to die to early in life.  But that was a while ago.  Now I have a wonderful man in my life again to share, cry, and smile with.

But one thought that is going through my mind all night is a possible move.  A move away from my family and friends.  To start some place new.  To start fresh.  To start over.  There are good things and bad with this idea.  One, I have to say, I am not sure will actually happen.  But I am getting older.  My knees aren't what they used to be and it is getting too hard to breathe in all this cold air.  With my fiancee from the South, we are thinking of moving there.

AGAIN.  Don't panic yet!!!  Nothing is decided.

But the point of all this rant, is I worry most about my kids.  Will they be better off moving?  Will they make friends?  Will we be better off as a family?  How in the world do you get an answer without actually moving in the first place????

1/17/2012 Welcome!

Ever wonder what it takes to be a single mom?  Or how about someone who is widowed at at early age?  Someone who has been through a family member with addiction?  Getting re-married?  Moving away from all family and friends?

Wow.  Life is tough.  But this is a way I hope to rant what I have gone through and what is coming up.  What exactly is going through my head at any one time.  And I hope, it is a way to help you through all your problems or maybe even find out it is not so tough.

I hope you enjoy the read but more importantly, I hope I give you HOPE.

Krystine